'B' Wing
HMP Ahm Lee
Dear Master
Why haven't you replied to my texts? I thought you would be here by now with a part of that Wad For the Yak's Hair sale. Please reply to this letter with good news, oh holiest one.
Things aren't too good at this end. I'm sharing a cell with two black lads and a Muslim chap. The fact that I am wearing a lovat green hessian monk's outfit didn't help in the first few weeks. I am ashamed to tell you master, that I have removed my Wai Troz garb for now, and chosen the denim path of my wretched fellows. A skirt's no use in nick. Inside I am still Wai Troz to the very core. I just couldn't take any more.
I have met a couple of nice blokes since I have been here. Two fellows from the East, once great leaders at Qong Cer Van Zi. Such lovely lads, and so well dressed. Of course we haven't yet got round to talking about why they are here, of all places, oh great one. Nor why they are in 'H' Wing, the segregation unit....
I must bring this letter to an end. The 'screws' are hovering, waiting for me to finish up. I have to work this morning, sweeping the golden autumn leaves in the exercise yard. They do not know what joyful memories the brush will stir, nor see the broad smile on my soul.
Send words of great hope to my fellow Wai Troz Fraz Te warriors.
Yours
Gai Tam San
HMP Ahm Lee
Dear Master
Why haven't you replied to my texts? I thought you would be here by now with a part of that Wad For the Yak's Hair sale. Please reply to this letter with good news, oh holiest one.
Things aren't too good at this end. I'm sharing a cell with two black lads and a Muslim chap. The fact that I am wearing a lovat green hessian monk's outfit didn't help in the first few weeks. I am ashamed to tell you master, that I have removed my Wai Troz garb for now, and chosen the denim path of my wretched fellows. A skirt's no use in nick. Inside I am still Wai Troz to the very core. I just couldn't take any more.
I have met a couple of nice blokes since I have been here. Two fellows from the East, once great leaders at Qong Cer Van Zi. Such lovely lads, and so well dressed. Of course we haven't yet got round to talking about why they are here, of all places, oh great one. Nor why they are in 'H' Wing, the segregation unit....
I must bring this letter to an end. The 'screws' are hovering, waiting for me to finish up. I have to work this morning, sweeping the golden autumn leaves in the exercise yard. They do not know what joyful memories the brush will stir, nor see the broad smile on my soul.
Send words of great hope to my fellow Wai Troz Fraz Te warriors.
Yours
Gai Tam San
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1 comment:
Fear not, Gai, for a shiny tooth`ed personage of dense and wiry hair will visit in the night and bestow much knowledge and wisdom upon you that has not been got from the telly or the daily papers but from a deep source within the bowels of the Earth. Flicking moths and late summer wasps from the leathery, hairy buttocks of our Regional Director, He of Too Much Hair n` Teeth will summon the tiny godlets of the Wharfe in Wharefedale and make such preparations to make good your escape from your dismal and dank incarceration.
And so.
By the excited yet silent flapping of several native bat species who shall be known to you by the tiny risk assessments attached to their legs you will know it is time to be sprung from your imprisonment.
On the other hand, you can sit and rot.
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