Sad News in Yorkshire of the Death of the Twig

Some say he wore worsted basque and stockings to the office in winter. Some say his breath smelled like Fidel Castro's favourite cat. All we know is that he was The Twig.
THE TWIG IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE TWIG
For years he drove forestry audiences wild driving averagely-priced metaphors beyond their limit into corners out of which only he knew he could get.
The Twig was never seen without his trademark Harris Tweed one-piece racing suit and Safety Hamlet. Early in his career, he spent long hours at the wheel without a care for risk or hazard. It was only towards the end of his cruelly-shortened span that he began to take a more responsible attitude to hazard and risk by listening to those around him
Few knew The Twig, the man. For those who got close, the memory is flat beer and flatulence, fondly-felt. An early grammar school pal remembers him as "a studious boy, all decked out in serge and smoking his father's pipe behind the chip shop." College buddy and Jewish chocolate factory magnate Terry Saul-Gold remembers him as "a studious, drunken young man all decked out in corduroy and smoking his own pipe behind the chip shop". Work colleagues will always remember him as a man decked out by C and A, smoking in the chip shop.
Trees were his first love. Ironic then that the last days should be so taken away by a madness brought on him by the very subject he loved so much.
A memorial service will be held for The Twig at The Bar Convent, York. Leading the joint service of remembrance will be Archbishop John Sentamu and His Holiness Pope Vincecattero III. Speakers will include Derek Patch (Tree Advice Trust), I. Hackenspitter (Hamlet Cigars plc) and the Honorable Fraud Streakland-Unstable.
Flowers will not be accepted. Instead, money may be donated to the Eborforestry Twig Memorial Appeal, with which resource heathland and open space will be established and maintained across previously afforested landscapes.